There are six categories of Castle Hunter...Casual, Interested, Keen, Enthusiastic, Dedicated and Fanatic. Which one are you?

The "Casual" visits a castle only because...

• (a) On holiday with the wife and kids and looking for somewhere to go that is cheap.
• (b) Looking for somewhere out of the rain that isn't a clothes shop.
• (c) Thought it was a theme pub.

While there he...

• Does not buy a guidebook.
• Does buy a picture postcard of "Ye Olde Knighte" and plastic swords for kids.
• Gets foreign tourist to take a photo of himself, wife and kids standing next to "Ye Olde Court Jester".
• Takes one photo of wife and kids standing in front of the castle, posed so as to obscure any view of the castle itself.

The "Interested" visits a castle because...

• (a) On holiday with the wife and kids and looking for somewhere to go that is "cultural" and cheap.
• (b) Looking for somewhere out of the rain that isn't a clothes shop.
• (c) Everyone else is heading that way.

While there he...

• Buys a guidebook intending to read it sometime.
• Buys a picture postcard showing all the castles in the county and castle-shaped pencil sharpeners for the kids.
• Gets foreign tourist to take a photo of himself, wife and kids standing next to "Ye Olde Gallows".
• Takes one photo of wife and kids standing in front of the castle, posed so as to obscure any view of the castle itself and another of the castle obscured by foreign tourists.

The "Keen" visits a castle because...

• (a) Kids are doing a "Castles" project at school.
• (b) He remembers visiting a castle when he was at school.
• (c) As it's a Saturday in August, all the antiques shops are shut.

While there he...

• Buys a guidebook to read while wandering around the castle.
• Buys several picture postcards showing different views of the castle and assorted items for the kids, including "Build Your Own Castle Out Of Cardboard" kits, reproduction coins and several of those booklets especially designed for kids who are doing a "Castles" project at school.
• Takes several photos of different views of the castle plus one of wife and kids standing next to "Ye Olde Gallows".

The "Enthusiastic" visits a castle because...

• (a) He hasn't been to this one yet.
• (b) He has been to this one before but the photos didn't come out.
• (c) The wife and kids are visiting her mother.

While there he...

• Buys a guidebook and a book detailing the histories of all the other castles in the county.
• Does not buy any picture postcards but opts for a selection of reproduction coins and a scale model of a trebuchet.
• Uses an entire roll of film taking different views of the castle plus some of obscure details, such as newel stairs, arrow loops, garderobes, etc.

The "Dedicated" visits a castle because...

• (a) He hasn't been to this one yet.
• (b) He has been to this one before but missed seeing an important garderobe chute.
• (c) It's outside the zone of the restraining order imposed by the Divorce Court.

While there he...

• Does not buy a guidebook because the one he bought thirty years ago is in perfect condition.
• Does not buy any picture postcards or souvenirs as they are for "tourists", but does buy a scale model of a trebuchet because he finds the structural inaccuracies rather amusing.
• Uses two rolls of film photographing every detail of the castle, then does some quick pen and ink sketches as backup.

The "Fanatic" visits a castle because...

• (a) It is the epitome of fourteenth century military architecture, or would be if most of the stone bits hadn't disappeared.
• (b) It is the epitome of twelth century military architecture, or would be if all the wooden bits hadn't disappeared.
• (c) It was mentioned in a book that he bought in an antique shop for three shillings and ninepence ha'penny forty years ago.

While there he...

• Does not buy a guidebook because he knows all of them off by heart.
• Does not buy any picture postcards or souvenirs as they are for "tourists" and "amateurs".
• Finds the structural inaccuracies of the scale model trebuchet thoroughly irritating and tells the shop assistant, manager and everyone else in the shop.
• Uses his new-fangled digital camera to photograph every detail of the castle, then does it all again with his old camera and four rolls of film as backup.
• Makes pen and ink sketches of certain architectural details with measurements and angles, in which newel stairs, arrow loops and garderobes figure quite heavily.

I have this uncomfortable feeling that I recognize myself in here...and no, I'm NOT going to say which one!